The Little Mermaid – Little Mermaid, Big Heart

“Lin-Manuel Miranda was so preoccupied with if he could make a bird rap, he didn’t stop to think about if he should.” – Dr. Ian Malcolm if he was real and watched this movie, probably.

Overall, I must confess that I really enjoyed this movie. It ran long (this thing had no business being a second over 100 minutes) but had real strengths in the acting from Bailey and Hauer-King, as well as the music, which on a whole I thought to be great.

My theater experience was a mixed bag. My wife and I arrived to the theater around 6PM for our 6:15 showing, and our seats happened to be directly next to the only two other people in the theater at that point, two older women who had never been taught how to whisper. I was so happy to learn that one woman had won a raffle for a dinner with Chaim Bloom, GM of the Red Sox. She also spent a decent portion of the film taking pictures of the screen with the flash on – maybe looking for something to talk to Chaim about. Somewhere behind us, someone was watching Youtube videos on a low volume for the entire movie, and someone else started listening to synth music during act 3. However, all was not negative. There were plenty of kids in the theater that were having a great time, including a little girl that sat to the other side of my wife that was singing along to most of the songs. I found her adorable, and it reminded me why family movies like this are so important. The crowd applauded as the film’s credits began to roll.

When making the leap from animated to “live action” the filmmakers lose one of their most powerful tools for this type of story: giving emotion to the non-human characters. This is not a new issue (see 2019’s The Lion King) but it remains prevalent here. Unfortunately, I do not have a solution. My apologies to Hollywood.

I will try to get the rest of my complaints out of the way now, before moving onto the positives. The fish in this film look like they were designed by someone who saw a picture of a fish a few years ago and never again since. They owe whoever invented fish in real life a huge apology. I would also gripe on the CGI that put Javier Bardem’s head on King Triton’s body, as it never quite looked natural to me. I’m not sure if the fault lies in the shoulders, or perhaps the hair, but something felt off to me. Ironically, most of the underwater characters (with the important exception of Ariel and Sebastian) lacked depth to me. While Flounder was wasted, Scuttle was overdone and overused.

Earlier I teased that there was plenty in the movie that I liked – Halle Bailey as Ariel first among them. She is perfectly cast, her voice is great, and when she loses her ability to speak, her facial expressions are still able to convey emotion and keep the story moving. She also has great chemistry with Jonah Hauer-King, who plays Prince Eric. One part Casey Affleck, two parts Ryan Gosling, and a pinch of McDreamy seem to be the winning recipe here. I’d bet this guy finds more work soon.

A lot of discussion has been had on Melissa McCarthy’s portrayal of Ursula, most of it negative. However, I was surprised and impressed with the quality of her look as the iconic villain, as well as her performance. Due to the nature of her role in the story, she doesn’t have much interaction with characters besides Ariel until the end of the film, leaving her feeling like a one-note villain who talks to herself and monologues about her evil plan, which I guess is true, but for my money McCarthy sells it.

Javier Bardem’s commanding portrayal of King Triton really hit me in the last few minutes of the film. When he finally realizes he needs to let his daughter go and be happy, you can see the heartbreak and pride in his eyes simultaneously. Bardem-heads, you won’t want to miss it.

The music and score was also a high point for me. With the exception of the “Scuttlebutt” bird rap, the new songs felt fresh, while still fitting in with the original music, which mostly avoided the “Weezer-fication” that we all feared when this movie was announced.

I also watched the original “The Little Mermaid” from 1989. Its runtime made me swoon, a brisk 83 minutes that flew by. The only time I was tempted to shift my attention from the screen was when my dog begged for belly rubs. He sure loves those.

Now, time for the big Q. Do I recommend schlepping all the way out to your local cinema for this feature presentation? I’d give it a hesitant yes, so long as you aren’t taking it too seriously or have a severe phobia of fish-adjacent creatures. I’d give a final score of 7/10 dinglehoppers.

Be sure to check back on Friday, 6/23/23 for the beginning of my Director’s Series! I’ll be going through various director’s entire filmography, starting with… the summer of Shyamalan.