Old – The Sands of Time

Watching this film on the beach that makes you old would take four years. Feels about the same as watching it in my living room. ZING!

M Night’s fourteenth film, Old, is all over the map. The premise is great. A small group of vacationing families get trapped on a beach where they age at a rapid rate and must find a way to escape before their bodies grow too old to do so. Still with me? As much as I love the director, this was a major misfire. All of the actors brought down the already weak dialogue, the camerawork was largely unsatisfying, and the story moves in a wholly disappointing direction.

One of Shyamalan’s traits is that his films tend to lack subtlety. This one takes it to a new extreme, maybe even past the levels of The Happening, with very on the nose dialogue and characters constantly talking directly about the themes of the movie, beating home the point of “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you might miss it.”

Wait, that may be from something else…

While the message is clear and obviously very personal to Shyamalan, with the amount of times he tries to beat the message into the audience, it almost makes the childish side of me want to push back on that idea. It’s okay to want to be a kid again! You don’t have to grow up!

Ultimately, it feels like a very longwinded way for Shyamalan to say, “Gee whiz, my kids grew up so quick, I wish I spent more time with them.”

I wrote that jokingly, and I know I’m editorializing here, but it feels right. The parent characters, Guy and Prisca, don’t even recognize their kids as they begin to grow up too quickly. There’s also a character who is obsessed with trying to remember details of a film he once saw. Ultimately unimportant, it feels like a way of Shyamalan saying that he’d rather his family remember him as a father than a filmmaker.

There’s some really disturbing moments in here. There’s a good amount of body horror as the film nears its conclusion that really makes you want to cover your eyes. I enjoyed this! There’s also a particularly gut-wrenching scene that almost makes you want to turn off the movie based on how depraved/gross it is.

I recognize this film has its defenders. I know some of them personally, good friends of mine. And I don’t hold it against them that they enjoy this one. It’s just not for me.

Shyamalan Rankings:

Even though the premise is honestly really cool, the execution was simply not there. I’m gonna slot it in at number 10 for now, but it’s really close to Lady in the Water for me as two movies that didn’t know what they were.

1. Signs
2. The Sixth Sense
3. Unbreakable
4. The Village
5. The Visit
6. Split
7. Wide Awake
8. Glass
9. The Happening
10. Old
11. Lady in the Water
12. After Earth
13. Praying With Anger
14. The Last Airbender

Next week, we complete M Night’s current filmography with Knock at the Cabin. Plus, find out which director I’ll be covering next!