Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny – Spoiler Free

Overall, it was an okay movie. It just didn’t feel like an Indiana Jones movie to me. Indy’s signature look, his fedora, is almost an afterthought. His cracking whip is only utilized once, to middling success. And I hate to say it, but ‘older-than-President-Biden’ Harrison Ford just doesn’t have the same action star prowess that he did in his youth.

Unfortunately, I left the theater very disappointed and underwhelmed. When I was nine years old, my grandfather took me to see Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I vividly remember him asking me if I wanted to leave when the Soviets kill the Area 51 guards in the opening scene. I shook my head “no” as if to tell him I wasn’t scared, and then enjoyed what is no longer my least favorite Indiana Jones movie. This movie going venture was still fun – my wife and I saw it in XD, Cinemark’s biggest screen – which did make the action scenes feel a bit more epic. We also got a small box of Junior Mints to enjoy during the film (we were careful not to drop any).

The film starts with a 25 minute sequence taking place only 6 years after the events of The Last Crusade. Indy is played by a digitally de-aged Harrison Ford, which as you can imagine was a very expensive and time consuming process for a product that looks mostly impressive, but far from perfect. Most glaringly, he still sounds like an old man.

When the sequence ends, we propel into the future of 1969, to the day of the first ever moon landing. History in the making. Indy is about to retire from teaching, but not before giving his class, and the popcorn adoring audience, a history lesson about the MacGuffin he’s about to hunt for. Classic.

There are many scenes that rely too heavily on CGI, particularly the parade scene. It’s overly long and didn’t add much for me – although Indy riding the horse was fun.

I’m going to skip ahead because my goal isn’t to give a plot recap. Either see the movie or read the Wikipedia article for that.

I think the biggest sin of Dial of Destiny is how the film very much lacks the Spielberg-touch. Nothing feels real, and except for the last 10 minutes the film lacks heart. Where Spielberg keeps it constantly fun and high-stakes, this film feels intermittently fun and medium-stakes. There’s also way too much CGI. If the budget went down by 100 million and they were forced to rely on more practical sets and less green screen, I think this movie not only performs better at the box office, but is a way better movie as a whole.

I’ll give the movie credit. There are a handful of fun sequences where Indy feels like Indy again. He cracks jokes in the face of danger, solves some crazy ass puzzles requiring an absurd amount of historical knowledge, and punches more than his fair share of Nazis.

Indy wouldn’t be Indy without some friends. In addition to some cameos of some of his previous sidekicks, he is joined in this adventure by Helena, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She is smart, determined, and threatens to be a worthy successor to Indiana Jones throughout the film. However, please never make another film in this franchise. Please. Let Indiana Jones end.

There’s something beautiful about the story of an aging hero who has to figure out if they still got it. I think that’s what this was supposed to be.

While the final minutes are a decent enough ending to the Indiana Jones franchise, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Within 60 seconds of thinking about it, I came up with a what I would deem a much more fitting ending to the series. It would’ve been more divisive, but a perfect conclusion for Indy. They played it safe, which is understandable, but not how I would’ve done it.

Do I recommend watching this movie? Maybe. I wouldn’t say not to watch. But proceed with caution and don’t let your expectations rise to the point of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I’d give it a score of 5/10 whip cracks.

Indiana Jones is easily one of my favorite movie series. The character has been a great inspiration for me and the first thing I think of when I think of the word adventure. I look forward to covering the rest of the Indiana Jones series when I watch Spielberg’s filmography in the future.

Next week: Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One