Haunted Mansion – Spooky Ghouls
Sponsored by every company ever.
Haunted Mansion stars LaKeith Stanfield as Ben, an astrophysicist turned paranormal tour guide, as he is roped in to helping Rosario Dawson (Gabbie) and her son Chase W. Dillon (Travis) after they move into a haunted mansion. With the help of some other quirky characters, they must find a way to stop the ghosts, ghouls, and other ghastly things from taking over for good.
Our theater experience wasn’t the best. There were a few people sitting behind us who talked throughout the film. There was a young girl sitting a few seats to my left who was shining her flashlight all over during act three (I suspect she dropped something under her seat). I think there was a baby that started to cry at some point. There was also a woman who loudly laughed at everything Owen Wilson said, which was endearing.
The story is fun, but the tone is quite confusing. It tries really hard to be both a comedy and a horror movie, offering genuine laughs and frights. At times, I laughed. And at other times, I jumped (Danny DeVito jump scare). But for the most part, it felt like the movie was trying too hard to do both. If it leaned into the comedy a bit more and committed fully to being full-on goofy, this would have worked a lot better for me. It takes itself very seriously, but also not. It’s a weird line to balance.
The entire film was one long product placement ad, putting even the famous Pepsi scene from Wayne’s World to shame. The corporate name drops are unending (and sometimes genuinely funny). I don’t want to go through and list them all, but whatever you’re imagining, triple it. My favorite, which tickled me in all the right ways, was: “Using this pen and pad I bought at CVS.”
I appreciated the emotion in the storyline with Ben and his deceased wife. Stanfield does a great job at selling how much he loved her and I fully bought into it, despite the small amount of screen time dedicated to it. As the emotional core of the story, it helped save the film. And weirdly, the subplot of the ghost captain who longs for the sea got to me too. I wanted that guy to get to the water and be free so bad.
The supporting cast is fun! Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, and Danny Devito all are fun to watch and do a decent job selling their characters.
Honestly, this would have been a great Scooby-Doo movie. The more I think about that, the more I believe it. With some light changes to the script and characters, it could be possible. Come on Hollywood, big miss there (yes, I know it’s based on the Haunted Mansion ride).
Overall, the film was fine. Some aspects of it were good. Other aspects weren’t. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or not recommend it to anyone. Watch the trailer and go with your gut. You’ll probably be right.
I’d give this a score of 5 ghostly spirits out of 10, but it’s a fun 5/10.
I’m not sure what I’ll be reviewing next Monday, but I’ll pick something! Stay tuned!
