Lady in the Water – Can’t Swim

M Night’s seventh feature, Lady in the Water is a fantastical and tonally strange film.

I would have titled this one: Exposition in the Water, as about 60% of the film is dedicated to explaining the rules of the fantasy world as it merges with reality. However, the rules are too convoluted. There are Narfs, and they need to be protected by the Guardian in order to summon the great Eatlon and take the Narf back home to the Blue World. The Narfs are hunted by the Scrunts, which are not allowed to attack the Narf if the Guardian is nearby. However, if they do attack the Narf anyway, the Tartutic will come and attack the Scrunt. There are also humans with special roles to play, such as the healer (who can heal an injured Narf), the Guild (who have an unclear ability), and the Symbolist (who can help identify who the other roles are). It feels like playing a game of Mafia for the first time.

Paul Giamatti plays Cleveland Heep – a stuttering superintendent of an apartment complex where most of the movie takes place. The story begins when Heep finds a woman swimming in the pool at night. This is Story (yes, that’s her name) played by The Village returnee Bryce Dallas Howard. Along the way, Heep recruits many of his tenants into helping him protect Story, including the most interesting, yet baffling role Shyamalan has cast himself in yet.

Shyamalan plays a writer named Vick Ran, who has recently written a political manifesto entitled “The Cookbook”. Vick is very clear that he knows the book is important, but will be controversial. Once he learns of Story’s magical powers, he is quick to ask her if she knows the future and she confirms his fears that this book will eventually get him killed. What did Shyamalan mean by this? Was the book a metaphor for the director’s films? It’s odd that M Night chose to play this role, which was much bigger of a role than he has played in any of his films since his debut.

The tone of the film is a misfire. It is a fantastical fairy tale… aimed entirely at adults. Even though it is based on a bedtime story M Night wrote for his kids, the movie relies on jump scares, scary creatures, adult themes, creepy character relationships, and innuendo, all of which make this movie for adults. Take those away (or limit their scope) and this movie would work as a kid’s movie – and I would probably like it a lot more.

There’s still a decent amount to like. If you’re a Paul Giamatti fan, he gives a full tilt performance here. Not to say it’s good or bad, but he goes all in, and you have to appreciate that. The cinematography is also pretty good, and the visuals (even the creatures) probably looked amazing in 2006. Nothing is painfully bad about this… just regularly bad.

Shyamalan Rankings:

This… wasn’t great.

1. Signs
2. The Sixth Sense
3. Unbreakable
4. The Village
5. Wide Awake
6. Lady in the Water
7. Praying With Anger

Is it a coincidence that Shyamalan’s two worst films so far are the ones where he has the most screentime? I’m not sure. But we’ll see if that trend continues.

Next week – The Happening.